See!

I was a bit nervous after that last post that I might have to eat my words. But look what I found in my garden this very afternoon! Green! This one is lettuce. And some beets and peas are showing too. See what a little faith can do!

It'll Come

I have a tiny half-size square foot garden. I was exhilarated to plant it this year. New life. Organic veggies. All that.

Last Saturday I planted spinach, lettuce, kale, onions, beets and peas. Sunday morning I started looking for little green shoots. Nothing.

I realize that seeds, like all good things in life, take time to develop. But I get wonderfully excited for that first sign of life and I can't help myself. This picture, taken today (9 days later) shows that there is no growth yet. Part of me wonders if I'm doing something wrong - planting too early, over or under watering, etc. But a bigger part of me believes that in a few more days there will be new life. I believe it enough to claim it publicly and I will post a picture when it comes.

Cancer is no different. Inspite of concrete evidence just yet, I also believe that I WILL BEAT CANCER! You'll see! And when it comes, you are invited to the celebration!

Cancer Update

I've decided to update my blog more often (at least twice a month hopefully), so if you want to hear my ramblings about life, death, faith and cancer, please check back.
Today's cancer report... Stable!! In my book, that is great. No spread to other organs. No sign of new growth in the bones. My blood counts are stable too (down by one point, which isn't much to the doctor, but still feels great to me). So we are going to maintain the course and continue with the current hormone therapy.

While I'd love to hear the doctor tell me the cancer is gone, I've come to realize that may be a near impossibility with bone mets. The bones are just a difficult organ to assess. Mostly they look for holes in the bone, but they can't really see tumors like they might see in other organs. It's a bit daunting to fight an invisible enemy (even more invisible than other cancers), but at least this gives enough encouragement to keep fighting!

I was wondering coming into today's scan if my efforts are worth it, especially my diet. Talking to the doctor about the limited info these scans offer, I'm realizing that the best assessment is actually how I'm feeling. And I feel good. Not awesome, but good. And slowly and steadily improving! Plus I am almost entirely free of a whole long list of common cancer symptoms. That's enough for me to carry on.

Footnote: We shared a ride to the airport with 2 other cancer patients today. Both have been fighting stage 4 cancer for a couple years. Both got bad news this visit that their cancers have spread to additional organs. Both were discouraged. Sure makes "stable" sound that much better! But why does anyone have to go through this?!

Cancer 5k

Of all the cancer related races out there, this one is my race. I ran the BYU Rex Lee 5k last Saturday with my dear friend Haley.

I first participated in this race (my first 5k) about 15 years ago along with my roommate Amy. At that time my mom had recently been diagnosed with her cancer. I ran in her honor,  which I have done 4 times since.

But this year was different. This year I ran for myself. Actually, this time we mostly walked it, but I was still so happy to be participating again. For the past year plus I've not only had to fight cancer, but also back pain that at one point made it difficult to even walk or stand for long. So getting back to my race has been a huge goal for me and a major milestone to accomplish.