Thursday, November 8, 2012

Antsy

It's Thursday night and I feel antsy. I wonder a lot how much more time I have on this Earth. I figure the odds are that I've got at least a couple years, but it's amazing how fast a couple years can go. I want to be ready to die when the time comes. For me that means leaving behind stories of my life so that my children will know about me and hopefully learn from me even if I'm not here to tell my stories myself. It also means leaving behind love notes for my family and friends. It also means deepening all those relationships I care so much about, but that I have not taken time for because I always thought I had all the time in the world. My life BEFORE cancer was spent cleaning and organizing my house. Now my priorities are different. But it's still hard to find the time for these important things in the midst of caring for 3 young children (even though they're a major part of those important things!). So I'm feeling antsy about whether or not it's going to get done. Days can fly by and my health may decline and a couple years could disappear before I know it.
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. Kathleen11/20/12, 11:26 PM

    I cried reading this. Such a hard things to think about. It made me think of the following experience:

    My 4-year old kept asking me to read her favorite story to her. After the third or fourth time, I got out a video camera and made her a video of me reading it (it was my voice with the camera focused on the pages of the book). She loved playing the video over and over again on my computer. I thought about how precious that recording would be to her if anything ever happened to me. The next night I made recordings of reading more of their favorite books, but this time I read them with my girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee12/10/12, 7:41 AM

      Such hard things to think about (and to read about!). We hope and pray for the miracle that would give you many more years to be around to raise your sweet children and have more time with your good husband. Kathleen's comment reminded me of the video your good husband made of my good mother. I cannot express how much we cherish that! What a wonderful thing he did for all of us to remeber what a sweet lady she was and is. Get that boy busy with his video camera!

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)